Recently I have been working with a fair amount of first children who have recently had a new sibling introduced into their lives. Firstly, just to say that this is just a coincidence and certainly not to say that when/ if you have a second child your eldest child’s sleep will ‘hit the fan’. Every child is different as is their sleep and the way they cope with change.
I also often work with very prepared parents and carers that want to get their child’s sleep sorted before the second child arrives as they worry about their toddlers sleep when they introduce a new sibling.
Even if you have a child that sleeps well there may still be a period of adjustment when you welcome a new arrival. This blog will take you through a few steps you can take to keep sleep on track for your toddler when you bring home their new sibling.
Why could sleep go backwards for your first child?
A new sibling in the household is likely to impact your older child’s sleep habits in some way.
Newborns tend to wake up numerous times a night often crying at least until they have sorted out their internal circadian rhythm and feeding is established and there is not a lot that can be done about this, it is just a given and totally expected and natural.
The house will feel different for a time with all the new baby equipment around and you’ll probably have family and friends’ round to greet the new baby and give your toddler a little fuss too. It’ll all be very exciting and maybe a little un-nerving.
There may also be a hint of envy that there is some one new getting lots of attention that they now have to share.
How can you help your toddler?
Room: If possible and your home allows for it have your toddler sleep in a different room to you and the baby to prevent them from being disturbed by your newborn’s cries.
Sleeping space: Your toddler until at least 30 months old is best sleeping in a cot so long as it is safe to do so. Your toddler will sleep better in a cot and the reason for his is ‘impulse control’. This is a cognitive development that starts taking place between 30-36 months. A lack of impulse control will mean that your toddler may find it difficult to stay in a bed if there is an easy option of getting out of bed and then you may have a game of tennis between yours and your toddler’s bedroom.
White noise: A white noise machine can be super useful to mask your newborns cries and any other noises of movement in the night. Keep the volume to no more than 50-60 decibels and keep the machine a minimum 50 cm away from your little one’s ears. The noise should be pure white, pink or brown nose, not lullabies or rain sounds and should stay on all night without any breaks to the sound.
Attention cup: although this may be tough I would suggest trying to find a time on the day that both mum and dad separately can spend some 1:1 time with your toddler. This play is different to watching t.v or reading a book and instead you join in playing with them in whatever they are playing with. Here are some ideas for pre-bedtime play.
Bedtime rules
Children love predictability and this is why having a good bedtime routine can be an integral part of setting up a good night’s sleep. Whenever there is change in environment or routine or indeed a new sibling, there may be a testing of the bedtime rules just to ensure they are still in place.
Try sticking to your toddler’s usual bedtime routine pre new sibling. Routine and predictability will help your little one feel secure and safe especially in time of big changes.
If you have recently had another child and your older child/ren are struggling with sleep, get in touch. My plans are bespoke and I consider your family as a whole in my plans. Book a free, no obligation call and we can talk about working together to get you a better night’s sleep.
